Two Superheros Named Abby and Wendi (and a Little Girl named Arnold)

For years I wondered if superheros were real or just in the comic books.  This week, we found out the answer:  Wonder Woman and Cat Woman do in fact exist.  And made appearances this week, leaving millions around the world cheering.

From the U.S. World Cup Soccer Team, Abby Wambach (aka Wonder Woman) used her head in conquering country after country like Napoleon.  No – she really used her head with repeated headers into the goal.  Her cranial aptitude led some to wonder if she knows she’s allowed to use her feet.  Legend has it that on her first soccer team as a child, Abby scored 27 goals in her first three games, causing league officials to immediately move her to the boys team.  And she’s continued her domination from Pittsford, NY to a global scale, with a header in the final seconds of the semi-finals to propel the team to the Championship.

Then, there was Cat Woman, Wendi Deng Murdoch, who smelled danger.  And danger probably smelled like a cream pie.  During testimony by her media mogul husband Rupert Murdoch before Parliament, a “comedian” tried to make headlines and boost his career by throwing a pie at the octogenarian Murdoch.  Comedian is in quotes because typically that title is reserved for people who are funny.  Anyway, straight out of something from Gotham City, Wendi Murdoch leaped to her feet like a crouching tiger and slapped the attacker down like a champion whack-a-mole player.  As someone posted on Twitter, I wonder when Rupert Murdoch was 38 years old if he knew there was a newborn baby in China who would one day save his life.  Or his suit.

Crouching Tiger, Wendi Murdoch

And finally, on top of the week of  superheros, we again found that one person we once thought was a superhero, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is actually slightly less manly than a five-year-old girl. After humiliating his wife, Maria Shriver, by having a secret child 14 years ago with their housekeeper, Arnold this week filed a petition to not support his wife financially after the divorce.  And his petition says that she should pay for half of the legal fees for the divorce that he caused.

But the pathetic Arnold does serve a purpose.  In comparison, Wendi and Abby seem all the more amazing.  Now we just need Wendi to show Maria Shriver how that right hook works.

 

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